Stages and Statistics

"In God we trust.  All others [must] have data."  

     - From The Emperor of All Maladies A Biography of Cancer

Cancer treatment is all about numbers, data, and statistics. There is a steady collection of data every visit - white blood cells, red blood cells, platelets, blood chemistry, weight, symptoms, etc.  Data is collected, charted, and scrutinized at every turn and the data determines the next step.  At each treatment, I get a printout of my blood work.  I can check if I'm moving up or down.  For me, there is something comforting and concrete about data. With it I can see what's going on inside my body and understand the next steps.  I can look at progress from my pre-chemo self.    

This week, I've been worried about platelets.  The oncologists want your platelets number to be above 100 otherwise you risk not being able to clot if you were injured.  In other words, below 100 you are too sick to be made sicker with chemo.  At my last treatment my platelets were 108.  I barely squeaked by.  So I'm hoping and praying that they come up before my next treatment on Wednesday. Between treatments, I've tried to eat well, get some fresh air, move around, and pray that my body is doing its thing to generate more platelets.  There is really nothing to be done for this but pray.

Over the course of treatment of millions of patients, data are converted into statistics. Statistics are everywhere in the cancer world - percentages of getting this side effect from a certain chemo drug or having this allergic reaction, survival rates, surgery success rates, etc.  And then there are anecdotal stories - data points without context. I've heard stories of survival from my type of cancer and others. I like hearing that someone made it 10-20 years after colon cancer. There is hope in those numbers. 

The more grim numbers are the survival rates.  I have stage IV colorectal cancer, and I do not talk about my chances of survival. In fact, I avoid thinking about NOT surviving.  My parents have not asked about 5-year survival percentages. I assume they can Google it if they want to know. Only a few friends have asked. My answer is "I don't know", and I am being honest.  Not once have I asked my doctor for that number.  I suspect that the 5-year survival rate is not high because stage IV of any type of cancer is pretty advanced.  But I also know that these numbers are not definitive either. Survival rates are an average of years of survival from people of various ages and health. I am an individual person not an average. I'm a 42-year old in excellent health - cancer notwithstanding - with a robust immune system and the stubbornness of a herd of mules. Survival rates only apply to me in the abstract. I refuse to give it power by talking about it, and I firmly believe that I'll be a 5+ year survivor - a data point in the win column.