End of the Year

Most people start the new year with at least one resolution - lose weight, save money, quit smoking or some other bad habit.  I had a goal.  It was simple, and I only had one.  My goal for 2016 was to end it healthier than I started it.  When you make a goal, you need to have a set of actions to achieve it otherwise you are just engaging in wishful thinking.  My goal was different than most in that I have very little control over the actions necessary to achieve it. My actions include trying to remain positive, praying, eating healthy (-ish), and showing up for chemo.  The rest of the actions are required by my body to follow my will - keep up your immune system, avoid germs, respond to chemotherapy, get enough rest, and limit stress.

I am happy to say that the goal has been met.  I am healthier than I was this time last year. I've completed a year of chemo treatment and survived the side effects.  I managed to get through the January-February cold and flu season without getting sick at all which was a minor miracle considering Sara attends school with 800 mini Petri dishes (or kids).  My only health hiccup was the cold I caught a week before Christmas, but it was short lived and didn't escalate into anything more serious.  My December PET scan indicated no cancer metabolism in my lungs which is great news.  The other masses are much smaller having responded well to the chemo.  I'm thrilled to have my health moving in the right direction.

I cannot take much credit for this year's success.  I had a lot of help from modern medicine, a large prayer team, and the grace of God. The treatment path for 2017 is yet to be determined.  However, with the same team in place I expect to be even healthier at the end of 2017.  

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
     - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers

I'm terrible at waiting.  I get antsy and anxious.  I tend to jump ahead and guess what's coming.  I'll use any small thing as an omen.  Good parking place = good luck. Long wait = bad news they're trying to sort out.  Good nurse stick on my blood draw = easy chemo.  For a scientist, I'm awfully superstitious.

I had a PET scan on Monday, and Wednesday I had my follow up with the nurse practitioner (NP) to find out about the scan results.  Naturally, I was anxious.  That morning I was running late (bad omen), but I caught a lot of green lights on Kingston Pike (good omen). My parking place was decent (neutral).  There were no annoying loud-talking people in the waiting room (good).  The nurse stick was easy (good). Then I had to wait about 40 minutes for the NP (worse).  It wasn't my favorite NP, Lisa, that walked in (bad). I've almost worked myself into a tizzy before she starts talking.

The news was mixed but generally good.  I think.  The lesions on my lungs are now showing no activity (no cancer metabolism going on there).  That's good.  It's what I've been praying for since my last scan in June.  The mass on my liver is more active but generally the same size as the last scan.  My tumor marker was up but not drastically so.  It was 1.5 in November and 4.9 in December.  Below 3 is normal.  I extended my chemo to every three weeks in October and November to accommodate travel plans. I guess it is possible for the change in schedule to impact the tumor marker number, but I'm not a doctor.  This is cause for attention but not panic.

I will see my surgeon in three weeks and my oncologist again after that.  Three weeks! That's the earliest appointment I could get. That's three weeks to speculate, worry, and stew on it.  Three weeks to generate a proper omen scorecard.  Or depending on my mood, it's three weeks of freedom without chemo or a doctor's appointment.  I will try to focus on the latter and keep the worrying and tallying at bay.  Luckily, I have the distraction of the holidays and lots to do at work.

God is teaching me patience, and I'm a slow learner, apparently.